From frustration to
acceptance
Currently, Sarah-Hope is in good health. I think that health
means more to me than answers! That period of bad health was a blur.
Sarah-Hope’s behaviour was so challenging – but it was difficult to know
whether she was being totally defiant, or if she was just unwell, or if her
frustrations were typical of a three year old girl– especially one who is
making sense of the fact that she has little arms. “I CAN’T REACH!”, she would
shout. “IT’S EASY FOR YOU!” But a couple of months on she seems to be in a
space of acceptance. I asked her to close the door (I meant for her to push it
closed), but she calmly said “no, I have little hands”. And so we asked Libby
to do it and there was no fuss at all. “Please pass this to me, Mum”. She has
also told Rich that when she is older her arms are going to grow and her hands
will be able to touch each other. That made Rich nearly cry.
Tears of joy
For the first time, I feel as if I am seeing some fruit of
our parenting labours. Sarah-Hope is better at saying thank you and please and
in a decent tone too. This has been really important for me – because she won’t
be able to do everything for herself, Sarah-Hope must learn to make valid
requests with proper respect to get things done through and with other people.
Her physio reminds us that the ultimate goal is collaborative partnership – not
independence. So I am delighted that her manners are improving – admittedly I
benefit the most from this!
Sarah-Hope is singing! For the second part of 2014 she was
going to a music class which she enjoyed but never showed any signs of
participation despite being slightly older than the other kids in the class.
And then in January this year, she suddenly started putting on her own little
music classes for her dolls and animals! She switched on her little toy
computer, played a song, shook a rattle, and lined up all her stuffed friends
to join in the fun. To hear a child laugh, play and sing is a beautiful thing.
So songs and rhymes are becoming firm favourites as well as these special music
making times.
Sarah-Hope’s imaginary play is stunning. In many ways it is
a relief – she is far less frustrated than when she is playing with physical
toys which she may struggle to manage depending on their weight and shape. Here
she is free to pick up and hold her babies, pets and friends… and so this may
result in her having greater imaginary play than she might have with a full
working body... What a great outcome! Sarah-Hope loves her little cousin,
Jessica Rose Whyte.
This year Sarah-Hope has also taken on some water physio
classes. She is always slow to get into the water. She loves the feeling of
being splashed on her back but I think that since she can’t wipe water off her
eyes and most of her face she finds her defencelessness rather threatening. We
have gone from taking most of the session to get into the pool but are making
progress. The idea that she gets to have toys in the pool is very exciting to
her. We would love her to learn to swim at some point but are just working on
her relationship with water for now, keen to build a solid foundation of love
for the water.
